How To Communicate With the Ex – After the Divorce

Communicating With the Other Parent

When talking to the other parent after a breakup, you may feel the urge to scream, shout, or do other things to tell him or her about the pain and hurt you are feeling. However difficult it may be, do everything you can to avoid this, especially when your kids can hear you. If talking in person is hard (especially right after the breakup), you might want to use e-mail or even written notes or letters to avoid bringing up old emotional fights.

How we communicate with each other is very important. There are several methods of communication that you can use to reduce the stress and pressure as well as conflict with the co-parent. For Our Kids Co-Parenting classes provide resources and effective parenting tools you can use “NOW,” in parenting your kids from two separate homes. You can visit our website at:

What Children Need From Parents

  • Love and support. 
  • Reassurance and compassion. 
  •  Boundaries, limits, and guidance.
  • Physical and emotional security.
  • Positive role models.
  • Permission to love both parents unconditionally.
  • To be able to be a child and not be pressured to grow up too fast.
  • To be told the truth (but maybe not the "whole" truth at once). 
  • To be prepared for the changes they will face.
  • To be told that parental separation is not their fault. 
  • To grieve and be comforted.
  • To have time and contact with both parents.

Keeping your mind on what your children need not only mitigates the harmful effects of divorce on them/ it also helps to diffuse your own feelings of loss and self-pity.