Bully Buster

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Recognizing and Managing Your Child’s Anger

Yelling. Fighting. Hitting. Tantrums. Biting.  Sounds familiar?  They are typical behaviors of quick-to-anger children. Often we look for symptoms to show by outside behavior, overlooking intense feelings held on the  inside.  Unreleased anger and pent-up frustrations can lead to anxiety and even depression.  If you are concerned over your child's aggressive behavior, or notice signs of depression, experts suggest that you...

• Pay attention. “Kids do notice whether or not adults seem to care about teasing and bullying. If adults don’t seem to care, bullying increases,” says psychologist Michael Thompson, Ph.D., a best-selling author on the social lives of children. 
• Show your concern.

• Let kids know what you’re observing, ask questions, respond to changes in behavior and point out inappropriately aggressive talk and behavior. 

• Consider the motivation. “What purpose is the bullying serving?”  Is this about insecurity? Overexposure to aggressive influences? Are parents or others showing nonverbal approval of these child's toughness"?        

                                                  

• Model the values you want to see in your kids. “One of the most powerful and consistent findings in psychology is that children imitate adult role models,” Thompson says. What are your children learning from the way you resolve differences with other adults or with kids? Is your tone bullying when you are mad? Alternatively, do your kids get to see you interact warmly in adult friendships?

For Our Kids Parenting and Co-Parenting Services understand your concerns.   Our teen parenting class   will provide you with the knowledge, tools and skills needed to parent effectively.

Call to register now at 1- (757) 327-0481. We will be happy to assist you through both education and life experiences.  Email us at: forourkids1st@aol.com.  Visit our website at: www.4ourkids.org. Need some one on one training?  Chat with me at: http://imlive.com/waitingroom1ms.asp?hostnick=AskLinda

Conflict - Caught in the Middle

Sometimes, there are situations and issues that make co-parenting, difficult or inappropriate. For some, the divorce or separation was accompanied with mental and physical abuse, substance abuse or protective orders and other high conflict issues, and then parallel parenting may be more effective.

For Our Kids Parenting and Co-Parenting Services understand that conflict with the other parent is bound to occur, but it doesn’t have to hurt your kids if you take steps to prevent it. Try to keep all arguments away from your kids, and don’t make negative comments about the other parent to your kids. If you treat communication between yourself and the other parent as a job, then conflict and arguments should be less likely to occur. The other parent may not approach parenting like you, but that doesn’t make their approach wrong – just different. Tolerance of these differences will go a long way toward reducing some of the conflicts, and it will help your child to see that you, and the other parent can still be respectful of each other.

Face the facts, if parents are high conflict, it may be in the best interest of the child to have less back and forth. It may be better to have one parent have the child for school and activities because the parents are too conflicted. The stakes are just too high to let the battle get in the way. Visit our website at: www.4ourkids.org and learn how to co-parent from a distance, when communication with the other co-parent is at “zero levels." Let us give you the parenting skills, parenting tools, resources, along with an easy to understand parenting plan, which will help you and your children during this time of transition.

The first step to implement Parallel Parenting is:


 1. Disengage from the other parent


2. Learn to parent independently from the other parent


3.  You don't want to rely on the other parent for your  
     information.


4.  Resist telling the other parent how to parent

Bullying – A Growing Problem for Our Kids

Approximately, half of U.S. students are impacted by bullying each school day. It happens on buses, in the cafeteria, gym, hallways, playground, and classroom.  Children are often embarrassed or humiliated about being bullied are unlikely to discuss it with their parents or teachers and generally suffer in silence.  Unless parents see the obvious signs such as physical marks, cuts, bruises and scrapes, they tend to think their children are out of danger.  The old saying, “silence is golden,” is not always true.  Sudden behavioral changes in your child such as not explaining the loss of toys, school supplies, clothing, lunches or money, could be a “loud” sign that there’s a problem.

Research indicates that children will often skip school because they fear being attacked or intimidated by other students.  Make no mistake, bullying is an ongoing problem, and chances are that your kid could be next.  Now is the time to learn some basic action steps to follow and empower yourself to effectively deal with your child's bullying problems at the school level.

One way to address this issue is through early intervention.  Hearing about other kids in your child’s school, or reporting of the newspaper or on TV is an excellent way to approach the subject of bullying with your child.  If you find out that your child is being bullied, create a plan to help keep him safe.  This plan should include:

• As much as possible hang out in groups.

• Let your school know it you are being bullied at school.

• Avoid areas that the bully is known to hang out.

• Be aware of his surroundings, especially places that could be trouble, leave that spot and take a different route.

Need more advice on what to do as a parent if bullying escalates and becomes more serious?  Email me at forourkids1st@aol.com,  and share your thoughts and concerns.  I have wonderful suggestions and tools that you can use today. Call us at 1-888-314-0003 or (757) 327-0481, “or visit our website at: www.4ourkids.org.

Single Parenting Tips

Today, we are going to talk about this place we called home. For some children, this may no longer feel like a haven, a safe and healthy environment. With one parent  absent in the home, the home is no longer a house, but a building. A building filled with fear, separation and confusion. It is our job as parents to let them know, that a home is not just a building, because a building can get burned down or destroyed, but instead it’s a place where they can find comfort in knowing that they are loved, cared for, and most important wanted. This can only happen if we as parents provide love, stability and structure to our kids, whether living together as partners, or from separate homes.

If there's a single group of people who are under appreciated more than any other group of people, it has to be single parents. While everyone knows being a parent is hard, being a single parent tends to be even harder. Not only do you have to play the roles of both parents, but you're financially responsible for a set of bills that are usually paid by two incomes. Here are three of the most common problems' single parents struggle with, along with tips and strategies on how to overcome them:

1. The Financial Challenges. When you have two people paying a mortgage of $1,400 or more a month, it doesn't seem like that big of a deal. However, when one person is responsible for that kind of monthly payment, it becomes a big deal indeed. If you're having a hard time making your monthly housing payment, try downsizing to a smaller home, or if that's impossible,  refinance over a longer period of time (or at a low interest rate, if possible).

Make sure you do what you can to cut your other monthly expenses as well. Clip coupons and shop the sales at your local grocery store, get an all-in-one phone, cable and high-speed Internet plan and try shopping Goodwill stores for your household needs. Believe it or not, Goodwill isn't just about used clothing. Stores donate brand new items to the Goodwill center, and you can get some really helpful household items for very little money. Even inexpensive computers for young children can be found there.

2. Finding Competent Child Care. Many single parents are at the mercy of the childcare opportunities available in their area. No one wants to leave her child in a childcare center that is anything but the best. The problem is that the best is also usually the most expensive. Call the different childcare centers in your area and compare charges and services offered. Ask each one for references and check to see if there are any financial assistance opportunities available like reduced-price lunches.

3. Gender Issues. A mom that is a single parent may have a hard time teaching her sons about the things a dad would normally cover, and a single father may have a hard time discussing female issues with his daughters. If there isn't a parental figure for your child to discuss gender-related issues with, you should enlist the help of a favorite aunt or uncle or a close family friend to act as a "surrogate parent" for your child. It may be easier for your child to open up to this other significant adult.

Need more great tips? Call us at 1-888-314-0003 or (757) 327-0481, “or visit our website at: www.4ourkids.org., and register to attend one of our classes today.

A New Beginning

Remember the old saying, “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks?”  Well, take it from me, with great resources and effective parenting tools you can. I treasure many of the values taught in my home as a child. Some, I have passed on to my daughter, and I have seen good outcomes.  However, I have also passed on some unhealthy lessons, only to find it to be a roadblock, both for me and my daughter.

Many problems no doubt would have been prevented early on with my daughter, if I had better communication skills, or I looked for signs of early depression, as well as behavioral issues.

 

For active kids of today, you need proven techniques, taught by experts in the field of positive parenting. The methods I have taught to others are the same methods I applied in my home, and it works! (Yes, I learned “new tricks.”)

For Our Kids – Parenting and Co-Parenting classes will help you discover new ways and ideas in parenting and co-parent your children. Our comprehensive program provides real-life parenting solutions you can use today.   You like myself, want your children to become well-adjusted, happy and productive from childhood until adults. This can happen if we are open to change, and ready for a new beginning in parenting our kids.

Call us at 1-888-314-0003 or (757) 327-0481, “or visit our website at: www.4ourkids.org.

Linda